The Owl and The Pussycat
by Septemberrains8
Summary: A careless mistake by Remus Lupin is about to cause a whole lot of trouble for Minerva McGonagall... and it's not even breakfast time yet! Sequel to 'The Werewolf, The Witch and The Wardrobe'.
1. The First Mistake

**The Owl and The Pussycat**

_(A sequel to The Werewolf, The Witch and The Wardrobe)_

* * *

Minerva McGonagall stretched luxuriantly in the morning sunshine and – reluctantly – opened her eyes. Dawn was breaking over Hogwarts, it's fresh light rolling over the horizon and creeping insidiously into ever corner and corridor of the castle. It brought with it an end to the relative peace of night and a beginning of a new day - a day that would no doubt prominently feature Dolores Umbridge, whose overweight form made it impossible for her to be anything but prominent. And that was in addition to the usual headaches caused by impetuous, irascible students, badly behaved ghosts, mountains of administration and the ever charming Severus Snape. It was enough to make even the most dedicated Deputy Headmistress lose patience.

_It's lucky I have a certain immensely enjoyable means of relieving stress._

But there wasn't time to think about that now. Minerva sighed heavily and slid out from beneath the arm that lay slung protectively across her hips. Her actions elicited a soft moan of protest from the other side of the bed and she smiled despite herself as she pulled on her tartan dressing gown.

_You always did have trouble getting out of bed_. _It's nice to see that some things don't change._

In a brief moment of luxury she allowed her mind to drift back to the previous night. Barely a week had passed since Remus Lupin's first odyssey from Grimmauld Place back to Hogwarts. They'd spent a rather frantic evening trying to keep him out of sight of Umbridge which had culminated in the pair of them spending close to an hour locked in the staff room wardrobe. It hadn't been an entirely unpleasant experience.

As her lover regained his senses, she busied herself gathering up the discarded clothing that littered her bedroom floor: a faded cloak (his), green velvet robes (hers), patched trousers (his), skimpy black lace (hers, though he seemed to have derived the most pleasure from them)… if Umbridge had somehow evaded her tight security charm and burst in unannounced there would certainly have been no denying what it was they'd been up to.

_And I wouldn't want to deny it anyway._

But there was no doubt that the Headmistress could and would forbid a known werewolf from entering the castle. Would she go so far as to have him arrested? Minerva didn't know. It was easiest for all if she remained unaware of his presence.

Behind her Remus Lupin cleared his throat and she turned to see him smiling at her in what he obviously hoped was a seductive manner.

"Come back to bed," he pleaded hopefully.

She paused for a moment, deeply tempted. Life at Hogwarts was fast becoming unbearably tense, especially since Albus' impromptu departure a few weeks before. To escape the oncoming day even just for a few minutes… but time was running short. Minerva's presence was expected at breakfast in less than an hour and before that she had to ensure Remus was safely away back to London and Grimmauld Place.

"No," she said firmly. Seeing his downcast expression she added in a softer tone: "we've talked about this, Remus. If Umbridge finds you here she'll know we're helping Albus and who's going to keep an eye on Harry if I get fired?"

She folded his clothes neatly onto a nearby chair then left him to muse on her words whilst she went into the bathroom to wash, smiling at the sight of the empty champagne flutes by the side of the bath that stood as testimony to their indulgence the previous night.

"Madam Rosmerta's finest ever-chilled brut," Remus had announced proudly as he'd handed her the bottle, "and fresh strawberries from Cynthia. Who, by the way, wants you to know that she's expecting to hear 'all the gossip' tomorrow, whatever that might mean."

She smiled at the memory as she carefully pinned her hair up. Cynthia, for all of the motherly front she put up, was a wicked tease. Her greenhouses hid a veritable treasure trove of highly tempting produce and the exotic jams, herbal teas and delicately scented flowers were all weapons for skilfully procuring information from her colleagues. Even Albus, who normally reserved his affections for the unflappable Poppy Pomfrey, was putty in Cynthia's hands when raspberry liqueur was involved.

All the gossip… 

It'd be a while before Minerva heard the end of this one.

But it was definitely worth it.

"Minerva?"

In the mirror she saw Remus standing in the doorway with a stricken expression on his face.

"The invisibility cloak's gone! I've searched right through the bag and there's no sign of it."

"Gone?" Minerva frowned. "How can it be gone? Cloaks don't just vanish, even invisibility ones. It has to be there somewhere."

The cloak in question belonged to Alastor Moody. It was the better of the two he owned and he'd been extremely reluctant to part with it until he'd been convinced that Remus would treat it with the utmost care. Remus had used it yesterday to walk from the apparation point in Hogsmeade and to complete his errand for Dumbledore in the castle.

_It was definitely here last night. And I'd have known if anyone had tried to come in whilst we were asleep._

Minerva discarded her hairbrush and went back to help Remus look for it.

Much to her immense dismay, though, a thorough search of the bedroom, the living room and the adjoining study took them almost twenty minutes but failed to turn up the cloak.

_Where can it possibly have gone_, Minerva wondered, _and more importantly, how on earth is Remus going to get back to London now?_


	2. A Plan of Action

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Minerva finished dressing as quickly as she could, her hands moving automatically whilst her brain hastily searched for a solution.

Think! There must be something you can do, some way of getting him away…

The Order already decided that the Floo network was no longer an option. Umbridge was growing increasingly paranoid and, in Minerva's (admittedly biased) opinion, rather unstable when it came to office intruders, real or otherwise.

_If she could manage a half decent protection charm she wouldn't have to worry_, Minerva thought smugly as she fastened her blouse.

The recently discovered tunnel that led directly into Hogsmeade was also out: Honeydukes would be open and Remus couldn't risk being spotted trying to escape through the shop. Thanks to his having taught at the school for a year there was too much chance he'd be recognised. One innocent remark in the Three Broomsticks could then very easily find its way back to Umbridge.

The only possibility that Minerva could come up with was the Shrieking Shack. That was always deserted, and was beyond the apparation barriers that protected the school from any unwanted intruders. But even so, she would still have to get Remus unseen through the castle, across the grounds and down to the Whomping Willow.

_Impossible._

Although… there _was_ that staircase behind the panelling on the sixth floor. That would take them down as far as the library annexe. And the Willow itself was on the far side of the castle, beyond the greenhouses and the vegetable patch. If they made it as far as the greenhouses there was no chance of being seen from the school, but that meant leaving now, since the greenhouses would be busy with students as soon as breakfast was over.

On the other hand it was a risky plan at best, and rushing off without thinking things through properly might very well land them in serious trouble.

_What should we do?_

As she slid her arms into the sleeves of her robes, Minerva found herself wishing that Albus had not been forced to leave. Through all her years of teaching he'd always been a constant, like the mountains into which the foundations of the castle had been hewn: reliable, solid and unchanging. For all his irritating habits – and there were several – he could at least be relied upon for sensible, if cryptic, advice when it was really needed.

She glanced automatically at the mirror to check that her appearance was satisfactory, straightened her collar and then swept out of the bathroom.

Remus was waiting for her in the bedroom, all of his earlier playfulness now gone. Like Minerva, he knew that the work of the Order was of the utmost importance and must without a doubt be prioritised above their own rather selfish pleasure. They'd been lucky enough to be able to manage both through the last few weeks, but it was looking increasingly as though their luck had run out.

_Perhaps this is the last time in a long while that I'll come home and find him waiting for me._

It was an extremely unwelcome thought. Lately Remus was the only friend she had to keep her sane, now that Umbridge had cut off most of her contact with the outside world. Pushing aside such doubts, Minerva quickly outlined her plan to Remus, who agreed that leaving now seemed to be the best option they had and quickly gathered his things.

Minerva's rooms opened off a fairly private stretch of corridor. In one direction, a sharp curve in the passage let to the main staircase. The Gryffindor students were noisily making their way downstairs to breakfast and Minerva could distinctly make out the sound of Lee Jordan angrily complaining about yet another detention from Dolores Umbridge.

_I really must tell them to be careful of what they say. Or at least warn them to keep their voices down._

With Remus right behind her, Minerva turned the other way along the corridor. This route would normally take her to one of the back staircases, a favourite amongst the staff since it offered easy access to both the kitchens and the main staff wing where the rest of the faculty resided but too easily watched to be safe for Remus. Instead she took a sharp left hand turn and led him past several storerooms to a disused classroom at the far end of the passage. The panels at the very rear of the room hid a spiral staircase that took them all the way down to the ground floor, emerging at an apparent dead end. The right password afforded a direct exit out behind the greenhouses.

Minerva checked to make sure that Remus was still behind her and then strode off across the dewy grass, wishing she'd put a little more thought into her choice of footwear. Her heels weren't particularly high but were still eminently unsuitable for the damp lawns. She hastened her step even more. It was a brisk morning and the cold was starting to creep insidiously through her robes. She hadn't thought about bringing a cloak, hadn't thought about hardly anything that morning, or so it seemed. She cursed herself for being so uncharacteristically careless.

"Look out!"

Remus' urgent whisper cut through her musings. Seconds later she felt his hand grip her arm and yank her sideways into a narrow gap between Greenhouses Two and Three.

She opened her mouth to protest, and then shut it abruptly when she saw what his sharp eyes had spotted.

Dolores Umbridge was bustling across the lawn, her face red with exertion and her breathing heavy. A pink, fluffy garment danced just ahead of her, wheeling in circles and flipping exuberantly through the air, just out of the reach of Umbridge's grasping fingers. Behind the Headmistress hopped Filius Flitwick.

"I told him it was _Win_gardium Levi_o_sa!" Flitwick was squeaking anxiously. "Something must have gone wrong with the spell."

"Well can't you make it stop?" Umbridge snapped impatiently.

"Normally, yes. But something seems to be wrong with my wand and with the recent, er, travel restrictions I haven't been able to get to London to see Ollivander about it."

Despite the seriousness of their situation, Minerva couldn't help but laugh. She knew Filius well enough to be perfectly sure that he could have retrieved Dolores' ghastly cardigan in a split second had he felt so inclined. Next to her Remus said nothing, but there was a definite hint of amusement in his expression.

As the pantomime on the lawn drew closer, Remus and Minerva slipped through the unlocked door into Greenhouse Two.

The only door to Greenhouse Two, as it turned out.

Minerva looked around hopelessly.

"Now what are we going to do?"

* * *


End file.
